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Dastardly plans to foil Hamilton revealed

Woking, Sunday: The McLaren Formula One team has today revealed details of a “complex and multi-layered” plan by the FIA to stop Lewis Hamilton from winning last year’s F1 world championship.

The plans, which were “given” to McLaren by an anonymous FIA employee (who has now been suspended), finally show what many McLaren fans had suspected all along – that the FIA were taking steps to fix the 2008 world championship in favour of Ferrari and Felipe Massa.

World champion Lewis Hamilton

Not foiled: World champion Lewis Hamilton

“Due to an FIA order, we were not able to release details of their plans until now,” a McLaren spokesman said today. “It turns out that the FIA tried to stop Hamilton from winning the championship, although the often-suspected bias of race stewards isn’t how they did it. Lewis just kept getting punished because he wouldn’t stop breaking the rules.

“What actually happened is that the World Motor Sport Council secretly ruled in August that Hamilton would have to contest the final few races of the season without an engine in his car. McLaren engineers therefore designed a car that would run on Lewis’ sense of self-importance, which explains why he was so fast towards the end of the year.

“The noise of a conventional F1 V8, coming from Hamilton’s car, was simulated by playing a recording of McLaren fans reacting to the revised result of the Belgian Grand Prix.”

The FIA has yet to comment on the allegations.

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