• Disclaimer

    The Runoff Area is a website devoted to the purposes of humour and satire, not a serious motorsports news publication. When reading articles on this website - even you credulous folks over at ApexSpeed - please try to understand that they are not intended to be taken seriously. Sebastian Vettel is not a baby, I know of no plans to host a Grand Prix in South Ossetia, and Kimi Raikkonen doesn't respond to everything with a "bemused grunt." Or does he?
  • Legal Bit

    The text content of all posts from The Runoff Area are the intellectual property of Red Andy. You can share the jokes with your friends if you like, but please provide a link to the original. Images used on this website are not the property of The Runoff Area, and thus, where possible, a link is provided to the original image. If you own an image that is used on this site and would like it removed, please contact the webmaster.
  • Advertisements

Mosley clones to run FIA

Paris, Thursday: FIA President Max Mosley has today admitted that he is strongly considering the possibility of cloning himself, to ensure that future generations have the pleasure of observing his tenure as head of the world’s major motorsport sanctioning body.

Cloned? FIA boss Max Mosley

The British ex-lawyer, 68, who made headlines around the world last year after being embroiled in an embarrassing scandal relating to his sadomasochistic activities (referring to his sexual behaviour, not his treatment of motorsport since assuming the presidency), revealed today that not only may he make a U-turn on a previous statement – that he would not seek re-election as FIA head for a fifth time this year – but that he may also seek alternative means to prolong his tenure.

“Clearly as FIA President I am universally popular and also quite brilliant,” Mosley told journalists today. “Frankly it would be a travesty if I were to retire, as everyone knows that the current economic situation in the world of motorsport can only be solved by me, and it’d all be a bit of a mess if I were to step down, wouldn’t it?”

Ignoring shouts of “No” from the back of the press room, Mosley continued: “This is why I have decided to invest several thousand pounds of my own money into cloning research, in the hope that a new Max Mosley can grow to maturity in time to take over the reins at the FIA when this vessel of mine finally expires.”

Sources suggest that when former FIA President Jean Toad, currently tipped to succeed Mosley as head of the organisation, heard of the news, he adopted an expression “like a clubbed seal. Yes, even more than usual.”

Speculation has arisen that Bernie Ecclestone will try a similar ruse, to maintain his stranglehold on F1’s commercial affairs, but Mosley dismissed these rumours: “Bernie doesn’t need to be cloned, given that he’s undea….I’ve said too much.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: