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Mosley clones to run FIA

Paris, Thursday: FIA President Max Mosley has today admitted that he is strongly considering the possibility of cloning himself, to ensure that future generations have the pleasure of observing his tenure as head of the world’s major motorsport sanctioning body.

Cloned? FIA boss Max Mosley

The British ex-lawyer, 68, who made headlines around the world last year after being embroiled in an embarrassing scandal relating to his sadomasochistic activities (referring to his sexual behaviour, not his treatment of motorsport since assuming the presidency), revealed today that not only may he make a U-turn on a previous statement – that he would not seek re-election as FIA head for a fifth time this year – but that he may also seek alternative means to prolong his tenure.

“Clearly as FIA President I am universally popular and also quite brilliant,” Mosley told journalists today. “Frankly it would be a travesty if I were to retire, as everyone knows that the current economic situation in the world of motorsport can only be solved by me, and it’d all be a bit of a mess if I were to step down, wouldn’t it?”

Ignoring shouts of “No” from the back of the press room, Mosley continued: “This is why I have decided to invest several thousand pounds of my own money into cloning research, in the hope that a new Max Mosley can grow to maturity in time to take over the reins at the FIA when this vessel of mine finally expires.”

Sources suggest that when former FIA President Jean Toad, currently tipped to succeed Mosley as head of the organisation, heard of the news, he adopted an expression “like a clubbed seal. Yes, even more than usual.”

Speculation has arisen that Bernie Ecclestone will try a similar ruse, to maintain his stranglehold on F1’s commercial affairs, but Mosley dismissed these rumours: “Bernie doesn’t need to be cloned, given that he’s undea….I’ve said too much.”

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