• Disclaimer

    The Runoff Area is a website devoted to the purposes of humour and satire, not a serious motorsports news publication. When reading articles on this website - even you credulous folks over at ApexSpeed - please try to understand that they are not intended to be taken seriously. Sebastian Vettel is not a baby, I know of no plans to host a Grand Prix in South Ossetia, and Kimi Raikkonen doesn't respond to everything with a "bemused grunt." Or does he?
  • Legal Bit

    The text content of all posts from The Runoff Area are the intellectual property of Red Andy. You can share the jokes with your friends if you like, but please provide a link to the original. Images used on this website are not the property of The Runoff Area, and thus, where possible, a link is provided to the original image. If you own an image that is used on this site and would like it removed, please contact the webmaster.
  • Advertisements

GPDA consider superlicence action

Paris, Thursday: The Grand Prix Drivers’ Association will meet over the next few days to plan a course of action over the FIA’s recent hike of superlicence prices, with a range of potential activities ranging from “quietly paying up and pretending the whole thing never happened” to “full-blown revolution.”

Toothless: Representation of proposed GPDA action

Toothless: Representation of proposed GPDA action

GPDA director Mark Webber, speaking from his cryogenic quackery chamber in Australia, told journalists: “The drivers will not stand for the ridiculous and blatant profiteering of the FIA, which is why we are considering strike action during the Australian Grand Prix in March. Also it’ll give me a bit more time for my leg to get better, as the broken bone has healed but for some reason I’ve contracted frostbite.

“Drivers of the world, unite!” he continued. “You have nothing to lose but your chains!

“And some of your salary,” Webber added. “And possibly some vital championship points. And perhaps your jobs.”

A contrasting view is offered by another high-ranking GPDA member, McLaren test driver Pedro de la Rosa, suggested that another form of protest could instead be used. “We can look for other, less disruptive ways of expressing our problem with the FIA and its current fee structure,” the Spaniard said. Rumours indicate that de la Rosa’s suggestion of symbolically dumping a caseload of superlicences in the Albert Park lake at the Australian Grand Prix was rejected by other drivers.

The FIA have so far stood their ground on the issue, with Bernie Ecclestone indicating that he has agreed with the sport’s governing body to avoid broadcasting the drivers’ actions. “The revolution will not be televised,” he said, “unless someone wants to buy the broadcasting rights, of course. Then it’s all yours.” Max Mosley has been reported to have responded to the driver’s rallying calls with a simple statement: “Let them eat cake,” though most commentators have agreed that this seems to be an expression of cluelessness rather than anything else.

GPDA non-members Lewis Hamilton and Kimi Raikkonen have reportedly already paid for their superlicences, with Webber denouncing them as “blacklegs” in his interview earlier today.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: