• Disclaimer

    The Runoff Area is a website devoted to the purposes of humour and satire, not a serious motorsports news publication. When reading articles on this website - even you credulous folks over at ApexSpeed - please try to understand that they are not intended to be taken seriously. Sebastian Vettel is not a baby, I know of no plans to host a Grand Prix in South Ossetia, and Kimi Raikkonen doesn't respond to everything with a "bemused grunt." Or does he?
  • Legal Bit

    The text content of all posts from The Runoff Area are the intellectual property of Red Andy. You can share the jokes with your friends if you like, but please provide a link to the original. Images used on this website are not the property of The Runoff Area, and thus, where possible, a link is provided to the original image. If you own an image that is used on this site and would like it removed, please contact the webmaster.

Viral ad gives McLaren technical insight

Woking, Tuesday: Sources at the McLaren Formula One team have confirmed that a recent viral advert featuring world champion Lewis Hamilton, although fake, gives a crucial insight into the operation of one of F1’s (sometimes) most successful teams.

Remote control: World champion Lewis Hamilton

Remote control: World champion Lewis Hamilton

Some of the more credulous inhabitants of the Internet have mistaken the video, which shows Lewis Hamilton remotely piloting his McLaren car, for genuine footage, though our anonymous team source confirmed to us that it was, in fact, “clever use of lighting and some Vodafone-inspired ingenuity” used in the film’s production to create the illusion of a remote-controlled F1 car.

The source admitted, however, that there was a grain of truth in the video. “All good satire is based on fact,” he told The Runoff Area, quite unnecessarily. “The idea of remotely controlling a Formula One car is unrealistic based on current technologies, though it is fairly common knowledge in F1 circles that Lewis Hamilton is himself remotely controlled from outside the cockpit.”

Enthusiastic F1 “technical expert” Barry Spanner was on hand to vociferously point out the evidence for Hamilton’s unusual condition: “Look at the metronomic laps he does – that could not be achieved by a mere human. And sometimes his movements seem unusually forced and robotic.

“Furthermore, look at his demeanour in press conferences. A non-remote-controlled person would be able to say things other than thanking the team and meticulously describing the race. The evidence is incontrovertible – Lewis Hamilton is operated by remote control.”

Who is responsible for controlling the world champion on race weekends is not yet clear, though his occasional mistakes last year such as driving into the back of Fernando Alonso in Bahrain and Kimi Raikkonen in Canada have been attributed to “technical glitches.” McLaren have not ruled out the possibility that these could have been caused by “malicious software” downloaded onto the team’s ECU, though given that McLaren themselves build the ECU this seems unlikely.

Hamilton was unavailable for comment due to what a McLaren press officer called “routine downtime.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: