• Disclaimer

    The Runoff Area is a website devoted to the purposes of humour and satire, not a serious motorsports news publication. When reading articles on this website - even you credulous folks over at ApexSpeed - please try to understand that they are not intended to be taken seriously. Sebastian Vettel is not a baby, I know of no plans to host a Grand Prix in South Ossetia, and Kimi Raikkonen doesn't respond to everything with a "bemused grunt." Or does he?
  • Legal Bit

    The text content of all posts from The Runoff Area are the intellectual property of Red Andy. You can share the jokes with your friends if you like, but please provide a link to the original. Images used on this website are not the property of The Runoff Area, and thus, where possible, a link is provided to the original image. If you own an image that is used on this site and would like it removed, please contact the webmaster.

Swiss police in BMW investigation

Hinwil, Friday: Police forces in the Swiss canton of Zurich have begun a formal investigation into the BMW Formula One team’s headquarters today, after reports of an outbreak of “humour” in the factory.

Serious: Swiss police in high-speed chase

Serious: Swiss police in high-speed chase

Reports suggest that office staff in the facility were using their computers to share comedic websites when they should have been working, including a motorsports blog billed as being “Genauer als Planet-F1.”

An unnamed whistleblower within the company alerted authorities last week when he heard noises that sounded “suspiciously similar to laughter” emanating from the Human Resources office. Further investigation determined that staff had been “unreasonably amused” by Internet material “undoubtedly intended for the purposes of humour and satire.”

Humour has been illegal in Switzerland since 1998, when a man in Grindelwald laughed surprisingly loudly at an episode of Freunden on the television. The sound of his merriment triggered an avalanche, which buried a small village.

“We take these allegations extremely seriously,” one Zurich police spokesman told the media. “Not only did the tragic and unnecessary events of 1998 show how dangerous humour can be, in these times of economic hardship it is doubly damaging as it contributes significantly towards inefficiency. Given how BMW Sauber are performing at the moment, you’d think they’d be working twice as hard.”

Nationalist groups within Switzerland have already called for the confederation to withdraw from the Schengen Treaty, which allows passport-free travel between European countries, after allegations that “mischievous Germans” from the Bavarian contingent of BMW could have been taking advantage of relaxed border checks by smuggling jokes into the country.

Attempting to import humour into Switzerland can carry a maximum of ten years’ furrowed brows and condescending looks from strangers, whereas actually using humorous material within the country is punished with a stern talking-to and a polite request not to commit the offence again.

BMW boss Mario Thiessen admitted that he found the case “quite amusing,” before hastily requesting that reporters “don’t tell the Swiss I said that.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: