• Disclaimer

    The Runoff Area is a website devoted to the purposes of humour and satire, not a serious motorsports news publication. When reading articles on this website - even you credulous folks over at ApexSpeed - please try to understand that they are not intended to be taken seriously. Sebastian Vettel is not a baby, I know of no plans to host a Grand Prix in South Ossetia, and Kimi Raikkonen doesn't respond to everything with a "bemused grunt." Or does he?
  • Legal Bit

    The text content of all posts from The Runoff Area are the intellectual property of Red Andy. You can share the jokes with your friends if you like, but please provide a link to the original. Images used on this website are not the property of The Runoff Area, and thus, where possible, a link is provided to the original image. If you own an image that is used on this site and would like it removed, please contact the webmaster.

Ferrari outline 2010 dream

Maranello, Thursday: Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo has announced Ferrari’s plans to change the shape of Formula One in 2010, beginning with permitting teams to use more cars than the current two permitted by the regulations.

Dream: Everyones 2010 car, potentially

Dream: Everyone's 2010 car, potentially

Montezemolo apparently wants his team to fill all 26 of the available grid slots next season, in order to provide seats for all of the drivers the marque has contracted for next year, as well as “preserving the integrity and heritage” of Formula One.

Ferrari has in the past been scathing about the new entries poised to take to the grid next season, arguing that the presence of actual racing teams like Campos and Manor Motorsport detracts from the mystique of F1, which has historically been based on the periodic cutting and running of major car manufacturers like BMW and Honda.

“Having a grid composed only of Ferraris will restore F1 to its former glory by getting rid of all of these irritating nobodies who keep beating us this season,” Montezemolo revealed. “Furthermore, the importance of team play will be reflected much better if we have more cars.” The Italian brushed away criticism of this last fact, pointing out, “Well, it works in the DTM, doesn’t it?”

Ferrari is believed to have signed Fernando Alonso for next season, as well as having existing contracts with Kimi Raikkonen and Felipe Massa. Michael “No-Neck” Schumacher has also been linked with the Scuderia next year, after a comeback for the European Grand Prix was cancelled due to injury.

“This is easily the best solution,” Montezemolo continued. “As well as all of the previous benefits, it also means that McLaren can finally serve that ban they weren’t given for Spygate.”

A statement from the FIA dismissed Ferrari’s suggestions as “rubbish,” while a dejected Montezemolo was last seen scouring the Ferrari factory for spare televisions.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: