• Disclaimer

    The Runoff Area is a website devoted to the purposes of humour and satire, not a serious motorsports news publication. When reading articles on this website - even you credulous folks over at ApexSpeed - please try to understand that they are not intended to be taken seriously. Sebastian Vettel is not a baby, I know of no plans to host a Grand Prix in South Ossetia, and Kimi Raikkonen doesn't respond to everything with a "bemused grunt." Or does he?
  • Legal Bit

    The text content of all posts from The Runoff Area are the intellectual property of Red Andy. You can share the jokes with your friends if you like, but please provide a link to the original. Images used on this website are not the property of The Runoff Area, and thus, where possible, a link is provided to the original image. If you own an image that is used on this site and would like it removed, please contact the webmaster.

Jordan leads Briatore tributes

Monte Carlo, Wednesday: Former F1 team owner and BBC TV pundit Eddie Jordan has led tributes to departing Renault team principal Flavio Briatore, after the Italian was handed an effective lifetime ban from FIA-sanctioned motorsport on Monday.

Tributes: Former team boss Eddie Jordan

Tributes: Former team boss Eddie Jordan

Briatore was not a popular figure amongst many members of the F1 fraternity, and the whooping and hollering over his removal from Formula One has been widespread over the last few days. Jordan, however, took the time to pay tribute to his former rival.

“Flavio was a real bastard, wasn’t he?” Jordan began after accosting several nearby members of the press. “I mean, remember how he nicked Michael Schumacher from under my nose back in 1991. That was truly disgraceful. Michael was all set for a career of alarming mediocrity just like everybody else who’s ever driven for me, and then Flavio comes along and puts him straight on the path to seven world championships. It ruined Michael’s career. Disgusting.”

Jordan also offered his opinion on how Renault should have handled the case of Nelson Piquet’s deliberate crash in the Singapore Grand Prix, rather predictably termed “Crashgate:” “If I were Renault I would have sacked everyone immediately. The whole team. Not that I ever did anything like that when I was a team boss, but standing here on the sidelines with no idea about how any of it works I can say with complete confidence that under my leadership, everyone would be fired.”

Our reporters contacted Briatore for a response, which he was happy to give. “Min, Eddie is, you know, not the understanding of having about the Formula One, hmmm?

“Like, differences be things about what, min, you like-a the changes in the whole, hmmm, is sport. But is not sport, is glamour, is entertainment, is crashing on purpose to gain an unfair advantage over your rivals. For sure?”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: