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Journalists confess to “silly rumours”

Everywhere, Saturday: Formula One journalists spend most of their time deliberately cooking up silly rumours to trick syndication agencies into publishing nonsensical stories, it has been revealed today.

False: Rumoured Campos driver Nelson Piquet Jr.

Last week a Spanish website ran a story claiming that three-time world champion Nelson Piquet had purchased a stake in the Campos F1 team so that his son would be guaranteed an F1 race seat in 2010. This turned out to be a joke for the traditional Spanish “Day of the Innocents,” similar to April Fools’ Day, but it led F1 journalists to reveal that such occurrences are not uncommon.

Many Formula One reporters privately detest certain so-called “syndication” websites, which do no original journalism but pass off F1 stories as if they are their own work. Making up the occasional false rumour, it has been reported, is an amusing way for real journalists to show up the lack of actual work done by their Internet-based rivals.

“Originally it was all quite pleasant and subtle, with unlikely driver moves or sponsorship issues being raised, when they had no actual basis in reality,” one esteemed journalist said earlier. “But recently we’ve been upping the ante to see what these guys are stupid enough to fall for. Sebastien Loeb driving for Toro Rosso, Anthony Hamilton buying Renault, even Ralf Schumacher making an F1 comeback – as if that would ever happen. So far these have all been reported as fact by various syndication websites….

<ten-minute rant deleted>

“…which is why they should all be rounded up and have their Internet connections forcibly removed,” he concluded.

It has even been reported that there are whole websites dedicated to making up obviously false stories about Formula One, though this is obviously too silly to be true.

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